Pretexes

We are drinking
in the name of just born
unborn
..and dead.

Nanjing

I wish you did not ask me this question
cause you already know the answer
what they did to me
is beyond shame
so don't ask me to recall
I just wonder how can it be my part of Karma
I wish its theirs
and though its wrong
I wait.

Numbing madness

Its dark now
hard to fathom
it was light, just a moment ago,
I wonder how we don't go mad
with the true wonders, of the world
true wonder,
of how we go around the sun
dark and light
how we travel, crowd and alone
sky and the universe
stars and the sea.

God

Sometimes I question
the very existence of you
my very faith in you
as you lurk behind my every thought,
my every move and mistakes
taking account of my deeds and misdeeds
what rights do you have?
who gave you that? who are you?
who made you and what are you doing to me?
where are the answers,
and where are you, by the way?

All my courage and endurance,
my devotion and motivation
my sublime humanness and kindness
are to keep me in track for your reward,
you punish me when I think I deserve good
you reward me like a friend in my despair
but most of the time I feel abandoned anyway,
with or without you
I don't really care that much.

My Footprints

Crossing silk road,
I discovered, many times
Beijing to Harbin,
Shanghai to Hangzhou,
Dalian to Hongkong,
Wu xi to Macao,
Ship in the South China Sea
to trains full of peasants
Boats in the yellow river
to off roads on the Tibetan plateaus,
the roof of the world,
Lakes in Pokhara, to
the temples in Tansen,
like sprints in time
like shuttles I must make
because I have to move on,
to my next journey, my next destination
though I never knew where it was going to be
I never planned anything to happen.
And now, from Kathmandu to Melbourne
Melbourne to Sydney,
Sydney to Seoul
Seoul to Tokyo
Tokyo to Kyoto
Seoul to Kathmandu,
From Tombs of Taj,
to serene Bangalore.
From birth place of Lord Krishna
to biggest night club in the world
me, myself- my own Marco Polo,
riding joy, always smiling
and mostly with sun glasses,
scribbling my own stories,
my conquests and defeats
my shames and honors
my delights and horrors,
memories of beauties I have met,
memoirs of Geishas and Maikos,
to complete monsters and saints,
all etched up in my brain cells.
North to South,
I have crisscrossed my side of the planet
and I plan to go on,
I don't hunt any treasures
but I always hope to be thrilled,
amid the storms and deserts
amid floods and droughts
you will find me popping up
around the globe,
with my legs warming the planet
my open arms and curious eyes,
hope if I knock your door
You will not be too surprised,
in Chile, in Prague, in New York,
in Paris, in London, or in Venice,
Footprints, left prints forever,
seeds of my wonder and destiny.

Mirage

Looking at the river of time passing by
with dreams floating like objects from a broken ship,
beyond my reach far away in the water.
Waiting alone in a lonesome corner of this shore
sometimes I gaze in the horizon
to the other side.
I feel forced to ask,
Am I awake, just to dream?
And dream, just to be awake?
what lies beyond this tiring cycle?
The freedom is visible
just let go and live,
like a poem without any message
like a drive with no hurry.

Ungrateful

When I think back and analyze,
Walking beside you
has been like walking in my dream,
the reality is the surreal
and you are the only voice I hear.
You want to sit on my shoulder
so that you can see the show on the street
I carry you bare footed
yet you want to become my master
not a friend.
Don't you think that is unfair?
didn't it ever occur to you?
that I will also be judging you,
but unlike the way you do, from outside,
I looked at you, from inside out.

I got you wrapped with my affection,
to protect you and show you the way
light up the streets when it was dark
to give you hands to lift you up
and get you on your feet,
cheered you up and shared your tears,
what did you give in return?
you dropped me in a minefield
of your temperaments,
loaded me with a baggage full of demands,
and a kick in my guts.
I thought I was lucky to have you
Finally it dawned on me
how misplaced my love was.

Ten days of rain

Seems like ages
the last time I saw a ray of sunshine,
its been raining
for days, weeks, months.
Earth seems to be soaking up
quenching her eternal thirst
I stand and watch from my window
listening,
birds tucked away in trees,
heads buried in their chest,
trees, helpless,
like a student punished,
like a soldier on guard,
yet standing tall
pools and patches on land,
I tread carefully,
thankfully its not been too gushy,
the umbrella still holds.

You are crazy

I find it bit hard to swallow
the bitter sweet of your love
its been a decade
and you still miss me.
Time has moved on
and so have I,
I have to admit,
love fades,
and becomes powerless
against the winds of life.
The distance and the realities
the needs and the passions change,
and we grow to become different,
but to you,
all these things don't seem to make any sense,
my indifference and stony silence
does not seem to faze you
from coming back,
you really must be crazy,
to cherish white dreams with me again,
to imagine that you can be with me again.
My numbness has long gone
since you slipped your hands out yourself,
from my grasp
happiness did not last,
and now you want to change the world.
Time after time,
I keep on reminding you
I moved on too, quietly,
that was the least I could do
and the shadow has faded out from my heart.